It sure has been a while....since I posted that is. Not sure what happened there, but it is time to get back to it. Of course everyday is interesting when you live with a toddler, but when over a month goes by and you haven't jotted something down, or made a note about something funny he said or did, it really is hard to think back and find something to say. He is constantly making me laugh, or making me want to pull my hair out, but when you don't keep up with that, it all seems like a blur after the fact. Some things do some to mind however, so I thought I better get going with documenting them...so here they are.

Hayden is in a book phase. Counting books only please though and if it isn't technically a counting book, he'll make it one. He counts anything and everything and sometimes he does it in Spanish if it's less than 6 (thanks Dora!). He is also in a big "let's compare" phase. He will ask, "Mom, do you like the little white bear or the big brown bear better?" (from his counting book of course). And I reply with, "Well, I like the little white bear". "OK", he says, "I like the big brown one". If I happen to like the same thing he does...that is bad. That can't be. We can't ::cough:: share something as close to you as a favorite 2D picture in a book he's read 500 times. Oh no, that can't happen. So, in his way, his ever-convincing way, he makes sure that I end up liking a different one. Either that, or if I persist, he has a sudden change in his taste and picks a new thing to like "the best".

He's not an expert in the art of sharing at all really. He is quite bad at it most of the time and tries to crowd the person out in his own passive aggressive way. He doesn't necessarily hit (although he has chosen that route in the past), but he has been known to pull the ole "grab and run" technique when you're not paying attention or the "if mom's not looking I will just lean on the person with all my weight and make it physically impossible for them to reach whatever it is I don't want to share with them" technique. This one, yeah, this one he's perfected. He actually sits or stands next to a little friend and pushes them, usually with his bottom or the back of his arm or his head if it happens to be handy to do it that way. Poor little friends. He just isn't an expert in letting things go. One day he will get what's coming to him and people will not want to play with someone who doesn't share...peer pressure is MAJOR even at 2! He has already pulled, "BUT GWEN DOES IT!", or "I SAW TREVOR DO THAT SO IT'S OK!". I am sure those two are saying the same thing to their parents about Hayden. They are just watching each other all the time and mimicking it all.

And, oh yeah, he's not 2....he's 2 1/2. Yeah, that starts early too. And Porter is not quite 1 and Trevor just turned 2, etc, etc. Where you are at in the midst of an age level is extremely important. They know what kids can do at what age. Hayden knows that at 3 he gets a bike, at 4 he can chew gum, at 5 he goes to Kindergarten, and at 6...well, he hasn't informed us about that one yet, but he has basically got the next 3 years of his life all worked out. He's a planner.

The one nice (or dangerous at times) thing when toddlers learn to communicate more is that you can talk them down. You can rationalize a little better than in the past. Sometimes there is no getting through to him, but most of the time, you can explain things until he gets it or play into that peer pressure I mentioned. One of Cameron's favorite lines is, "Do you see anyone else doing that here?"...most often usd if he is freaking out in public. It makes him stop and look around and think, "Well, no, actually...no one else IS acting like a neanderthal at the moment...huh...weird". Sometimes explaining things just wastes your breath. It all depends on...his mood. The moods of a toddler are so...well...bi-polar. One second he's up and happy and dancing around the room and the next he's a screaming banshee because he can't find his most beloved pink super ball. Tragic. And then he's over it and body slamming the dog while singing Twinkle Twinkle....all that happened in the span of like 2 minutes this morning. At least he keeps us on our toes.

It can be exhausting though....the moods. Makes you feel like you are snuffing out fires all day long and trying to avoid the inevitable bonfire we like to call "the meltdown". It's going to happen, but it almost becomes a game; how put together can you stay to try and veer off in the other direction towards "happyville". Sometimes all roads lead back to the same place though.

He woke up "in a mood" the other day while Cameron was away on his first business trip ever (5 nights in San Fran). He was whinning as he loves to do lately, and I told him "Hayden, I don't know what kind of mood you want to be in today, but I want to be in a good mood...I am happy today, just so you know". And he turns to me with a scowl and a crazy look in his eye and says, "Well, I AM THE HAPPIEST BOY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!!" It's part of the one-upingness that comes with the territory. He is always the hungriest, or the funniest, or the littlest. It's the top of the totem pole for whatever topic is at hand.

He still loves trains, and trucks, and buses...anything with wheels really. If it has a hitch??...BONUS! He scoures parking lots for hitches, and prefers to shop at Home Depot for its generous helping of such hitch-bearing vehicles. He is all boy and it is really quite amazing where it comes from. Not sure how the boy-specific topics get started, but they are sure perpetuated because that's all he wants to talk about. He knows the difference and can recognize a boy vs a girl. he even has a "girlafriend" as he calls her. Gwen, or Gwennie, or sometimes Gwendolyn (he prefers the formal pronunciation when he is speaking of her seriously). They are like 2 peas in a pod. They are together with each other like there are with no other kids. They hold hands, they "smooch" and hug and just generally want to be with each other. Everyday. They are the epitomy of puppy love and it is the cutest damn thing ever. Sometimes it even gets embarassing. Honestly, they can't keep their hands off each other. Get a crib!

Hayden loves to be on the go and is constantly asking what we are doing next, or after nap, or tomorrow. That is mostly my fault. I keep the kid busy in order to keep my sanity. We are usually always on the go. In the morning...gone....home for nap, then gone again. It's what we do. If we stay home in the afternoon, Hayden is distrubed and usually goes to get his shoes and asks to go for a drive. Poor thing. But, really, it is good. Lately he has been ok with staying home...since his book obsession started. He likes to sit on the couch and flip through his books or have me read them to him.

I know I am skipping around a lot here, but I am just trying to get things down as I think of them.

Another thing that Hayden has perfected is the art of procrastination/manipulation...especially surrounding bedtime. Typically, Cameron and I switch every other day putting him down to bed and doing "the routine" (pj's-brush teeth-pick treat for sleeping through the night-head upstairs- read books-get in bed-done). This routine, in essence, is the same for both Cameron and I. However, it takes me about 30-40 min to complete it and it takes Cameron about 10. It is so frustrating. So much so that I secretly want to retire from the bedtime routine all together. It sucks. Hayden works me over. He wants 13 books, not 3...he needs water, he needs a different animal to sleep with, he needs a hug then a kiss, he needs his blanket untwisted, he needs medicine, he needs....he needs...he needs.....it is never ending and I fall right into his little trap. If he doesn't get what he "needs" then he cries and I just don't want to hear it at 8pm at night after being "on the clock" all day. It's not a battle I am willing to pick right then. I don't want to hear screaming during MY downtime. My quiet evening punctuated by sounds of fake vomiting. No, it is not pleasant. So...I cater. I get him one more sip of water, and squirt the "medicine" (which is really gas-x for babies and could be taken like water), and help him get situated under his blanket, and turn his animal friend onto his back, because...duh, stuffed worms obviously WANT to sleep that way! I don't however read 13 books...I have to draw the line somewhere, I am not a total pushover! My point is, as much as I don't want to admit it, Cameron's right. It is something about me that he knows he can work over. But, it is my choice and I have to deal with the consequences. Either that or one day I will decide to tough it out and let him work it out by himself. He will learn...and so will I.

So, as you can see, we are busy. Very busy raising a healthy toddler full of piss and vinegar. There's never a dull moment. Sometimes you feel so wrapped up in your kid's life that you lose your own. But, it is what I signed up to do. It is my job to be his mom and I want to do the best I can everyday at that. Some days you feel like you've failed or lost site of the big picture for a moment, but then something happens to bring you back around full circle and make you realize what's important and that it is all worth while. -- mam