Even though I was ready to stop, last night when Cameron put Hayden to bed without me giving him that last feeding and he was actually able to lull himself to sleep just fine...I have to admit, I was a little, well, sad. Sad is a nice, easy way to put it. There are other words to describe the feeling; stronger ones would have been used at the moment that I heard Cameron whisper "Goodnight" to him and tuck him in. Now, I am happy with the decision, but I still feeling a slight sense of loss. Mostly I just the mourn the loss of that cuddle time. The time when Hayden actually wants to be still and close to me (and trust me...there isn't any other time of day when that happens...so, yes, that I will miss dearly).

I am, however, happy to announce the reclamation of my body...my entire body...which in whole or part has belonged in some way or another to Hayden for the better part of the past two years. Actually it is sort of appropriate that I end this phase now...it was in Nov of '03 that we conceived Hayden. A full two year cycle devoted to the nurturing of my little love bug. Of course, it goes without saying, that nurturing continues...as long as I am on this earth nurturing continues...but, as of today...it comes in a different form.

Thanks for the mammories... -- mam